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You wouldn’t believe it, Jessie J states. At that moment readying for her first album release in eight years, deeply enamored with her newish partner, and finally the mom to a little one after facing fertility challenges for a decade, feeling invincible. Then in spring she was diagnosed with a breast cancer diagnosis.

The musician, actual name J. Cornish, is known for speaking her mind. The record, her latest release, was intended as an candid account, dealing with every bit of hardship she’d faced since she last worked on songs (endometrial issues, pregnancy loss, broken romances, psychological manipulation, suicide) with characteristic openness. The lead track, her single No Secrets, was released in April. But by then there remained a major undisclosed truth. Her diagnosis. Then second single, the upbeat Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and she was speaking publicly about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while all the while dealing with the disease. Subsequently she disclosed her condition, and in the start of summer she received surgical treatment.

She gives me her best “Are you kidding?” look. “I come out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m doing every interview, and they’re, like, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I answer, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” the singer has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s yet to undergo cosmetic procedures.

We’re at a studio in London. She is dressed in a beige fake-leather jacket, blue jeans with elaborate white patches, off-white boots and big frames. Think rocker vibe meets 70s singer aesthetic. “I feel like I’m in the 70s and I should have a man with facial hair.” Like the film, I say, recalling the picture. “That’s what people called me at school!” She beams. Jessie is sharp-witted, irreverent and direct. She says she has always been interested in humor and is aiming for her initial standup show in the coming year. “I enjoy humor. When performing I basically roast the fans.”

Health Struggles and Diagnosis

The artist was getting ready for an performance at the ceremony when she discovered a mass. “I quickly sought to get it examined, had an scan, and they were, like, ‘It appears fine; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. My arm hurts and pins and needles in my hands whenever I rise.’ And they said, ‘We should biopsy it?’ That was 28 March, the post-birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The specialist told her if it was concerning she’d reach out on the Monday. By then Cornish had assured herself it was nothing. The way she describes it, it was simply too inconvenient to get cancer when she had a busy schedule.

“We’re two weeks away from launching this thing after years away and no new music. And she contacted me and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I thought, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I join the call thinking it’s all going to be positive, and she goes, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ That sympathetic voice? And she continues, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your test results have indicated malignant cells.’” What did you say? “I answered, ‘Well, that’s not great. What awful timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”

I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself

She found the surgery frightening and surreal. “I dislike anesthesia. They walk you down. During crises you go on a gurney, but now I just walked with a gown on and my rear exposed. Like a dystopian scene.” But, Cornish says, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the surgery. “It’s terrible, but yet I’m grateful it was caught soon. The surgery happened recently and my right breast now appears as a odd shape.” A further beam. “The nipple was preserved.”

The follow-up procedure is for health and appearance. Her breasts, she observes, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. So inconsiderate! I felt, why make it worse, I’m already having a hard period. How offensive! Ironically I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got OCD, and I know they’d never be flawless. Cancer ruined that plan.”

Previous Struggles

Cornish is no stranger to illness. She believes her attitude toward illness has been so positive because she’s used to medical emergencies. Many times they occur alongside professional successes, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or shock, to remind her not to assume everything is fine. “Frankly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘You having a good time? Sit down.’ From a young age, it has often paired with high points for me; a major or strange event has happened to my health.”

She recalls to her youth, already beginning starring in the West End in the production (she was cast at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the cardiac issue a syndrome, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as lightheadedness and irregular beats. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an intravenous line, and being readmitted at night.” She jumps ahead six years, and teenage Jess has joined the girl group Soul Deep while studying at the Brit School. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was planning to release songs in recently I had a car crash and my larynx moved up and I was unable to vocalize for a long period.”

Oi, I say, hold on, I need a moment. At just 17? She nods|agrees